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HOME

What kinda of thoughts does this word conjure up in your mind?
Good? Bad? Complicated? A safe place? A place you don’t belong in?

I haven’t quite nailed down what this word means for me. Is it a place or a feeling?

During the last several years, “home” has become almost an anomaly. I haven’t stayed in one place for more than 2 consecutive years since I started college. Perhaps the same area for longer periods of time, but some sort of move has occurred at one point of another.

And even in those places, I’ve never quite felt at “home.” Even when I was home (aka. My parent’s home), I haven’t quite felt roots.

But then, should I?

Like much of what I’ve done lately, I adventured in New York for several days, seeing friends, family, and ministries. After several days of craziness, sleeping with mosquitos, sleeping on the floor, constantly moving, you would think I’d be ready to be home in Georgia, be in my own bed, petting my own dogs, reading my own books.

Yet strangely, even that didn’t feel like “home.” I pulled onto my street and felt an odd sense of displacement.

So now I wonder: what is “home”? 

A place to call my own? A place I feel like I belong?

I once heard that “home is where you miss being the most.” If that’s the case, I miss many places. I miss being by the sea, I miss roaming the streets of NYC, I miss seeing the mountains in SLC, I miss the coffee shops of Chicago and Greenville. But as far as them being “home”?

Or perhaps “home is where the heart is”? If that’s the case, my heart changes so frequently home could be anywhere. It depends on what I ate that morning or when I got my coffee.

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” – CS Lewis

“These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” – Hebrews 11:13-16

Or perhaps I will never feel at “home” because I’m not there yet. I’m not supposed to be at home here anyway. I’m not supposed to feel like I belong.

I do have a home. It’s not here though.

And the only place I will ever feel like I belong is in the arms of Jesus, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

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